Les Claypool

PROFILE
NAME : Les Claypool

Occupation: Bass Diddler and racist in the band Primus

Quote: "I hate children, I just wanna fuck mothman"

Abilities: plays bass better than most people, sexually satisfying Mr. Krinkle, Being racist

Weakness: showering

Spouse: Mr. Krinkle

Friends: Mel Gibson, Mr. Krinkle, Al Jourgensen, Vanilla Ice, The Crow, Charlie Sheen

Enemies: Mr. Krinkle, Children, Minorities, Humanity, Joel Olsteen, Metallica/anyone  who says primus sucks unironically.

Description:
===Les Claypool (born in 1990) is a bassist and leader of the sometimes Sewer exploration team "primus", A band so wrapped up in itself that they just keep playing, confusing actual criticism for their fans way of asking for an encore.===

Personal Life:
Claypool was born in 1990 to Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield, They considered their young son to be the bassist for their band Metallica, But because of his tendencies to collect diapers and scream "THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!" while naked and covered in his own feces, They Disowned him.

After Lars and James Left him in a 7 eleven bathroom(one he would occupy for most of his short childhood) Les Decided to do the worst thing any Human could, He started a vanity project called Primus (it sort of sounds like a Comedy Central Larry the Cableguy special and Kid Rock had a crisis pregnancy while huffing sewer fumes) As revenge, Not just on Metallica, but on God Himself.

Les takes time to keep his life partner and worst enemy Mr. Krinkle Satisfied, While also Keeping himself relevant.